Drop me a line pls, I started to worry whats going on with you!
Olga
—– Original Message —-
From: Billy Blackwell II
To: Olga
Sent: Sunday, September 14, 2008 3:48:22 PM
Subject: Slowing down and catching up
I may have found my next home here in Berlin. There is a community of
expatriates, artist, hustlers and free-thinkers with whom I really
identify.
Last night I was up late setting up this small studio in my tiny room
at the little apartment where I’m staying, playing guitar and
checking the sound. I started to get frustrated with my lack of
skill, so about 3 a.m. I left. I went to a part of Berlin called
Kreutzberg, walked into a nightclub and danced until 7:30 am.
This is more my kind of lifestyle.
I actually found a dual master’s degree program over here, taught an
accredited America university, where I can get my master’s degree in
international relations and human relations in less than 24 months.
It’s cheap to live here too, which is very very good. Remember that
last check you sent me. I called the agency. It’s the last check that
I’m getting. When I found out, it kind of cleared things up for me. I
wasn’t sure if I was going to live in America or Europe or both
somehow. Now I can only really afford to live well here. I’ll
probably be coming back sooner than I expected, but I’ll be spending
most of my time preparing to move over back to Berlin.
How’s everything there? Is the new job still good? Is your husband
still being difficult? How are Fela and Sunny? I hope they are
OK.Tell them, I miss you all very much, and I’ll see you very soon.
I seem to be on One, so excuse the ramble. There seems to be this belief system I’ve fallen into. I keep stumbling upon it. It’s the only thing that makes any sense. There is nothing other than God. That’s it. It is that simple. We are all just doing God’s work whether we know it or not. Whether we are shoving ditches or pimping bitches, contemplating metaphysics cross-legged under a bodhi tree or curing cancer in a College in Cambridge. It is all God. There is nothing but the universe and we don’t know where that is we only know we are a part of it. We are a part of God, inside and a working part of It All and It All is inside and working through us. But how helpful is that. How does this knowledge make a more harmonious experience? How is it useful for those who don’t know or who haven’t signed on? More importantly how does it help me stay busy and feel like my life has purpose. I keep looking for good and bad, right and wrong ways to act and be, but the only right action is fully conscious action. To regain and maintain consciousness and to face life on life’s terms seems to be the daily exercise. To stay present in the moment and to stay open to what life has to offer. But what does life have to offer I some times ask myself? Lessons… I often answer myself. Life is about learning. Life has lessons to offer. The Universal Mind is a learning machine and we are the lessons. I guess that’s why I need to spell out the details. Out of devotion it is time for me to start spelling out the lessons I’ve learned. Maybe someone won’t feel so crazy or at least so alone. There is nothing but God and God is Love. So what’s not to love? Let’s us love. Let us remove any barriers that keep us from loving. Wake up and realize. Keep waking up and keep realizing… over and over… because it is such a beautiful realization. Maybe one sweet morning it will stick. One Love.
It is not your role to make others happy; it is your role to keep yourself in balance. When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-really-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment.
— Abraham
Am I looking for salvation? I know. I have found it. Letting out that which is within me. I create. I am. There is more to know than I can show… and beyond all of it there is You, God. Thank you God for letting me be. Watch me fly. Here I go. Know that I would never know without you to show me. This. Wow! … is flying. This is seeing. This is being. There is so much more than I ever thought could be. Bringing all together in being… is flying. My cup runneth over. May the brew be sweet and nourishing. Thank you God for Love and Abundance. May other be filled from this overflowing cup. Thank you God for letting me keep up. This is amazing… I have so much. It’s time to come down and share. Thank you God for sunshine and love. Thank you God for the letting go. Thank you God for the reasoning and the seasoning. Thank you God for this life of choice, creation and creativity… the cost of living.
I’ve been remembering lately the reason why I’ve begun a few of the processes that have become a part of my life. I have an old astrology book “The Secret Language of Birthday: Personology Profiles for Each Day of the Year” that I use to remind me of the Earthly time and seasons and where I stand in relation to the Earth’s rotation around the Sun. I’ve had this book for around 15 years, but I began using this book as a tool a couple of years ago. I wanted to tell my own story, know my own history. I remember thinking that if I stayed in the circle of these 365 or so pages I could watch my life develop. I could see the spiraling dynamic of my own evolution in consciousness through knowledge of self and in worldly manifestation. I could use the pages to keep track of the spinning through time and space my marking the cycles of time.
I am forming a personal relationship with the cycle of time as each page reminds me of a day I’ve been through. As I turn the page on the new day. The random data of the day shapes up into the day’s strengths and weaknesses, the advise, the meditation. It’s been fun to meet people who are born on the days that I’m familiar with and see if their personality matches the traits in the book. It’s been interesting seeing new days pop up that I didn’t remember and wonder what I was doing. I’m starting to remember the names of each day and the days are starting to take on a character of their own.
Today is May 22 The Day of The Serial Epic. Today Richard Wagner was born. Wagner, the book tells me, was a 19th Century German opera composer, poet, essayist, multimedia artist, and the first conductor to conduct all of Beethoven’s symphonies. Many of the other people born on this day – Sir Laurence Olivier, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Abdul Baha, etc… – have similarly impressive curricula vitae.
Those born on this day…
have the energy required for epic feats. They are magnetically drawn toward serial creations and forms of entertainment in which they can exercise their talents again and again with development and variation. The excess of their lives does not necessarily lie in the amount of material wealth they pile up nor the number of friends they acquire, but in the production of work. May 22 people most often repetitively create within a model or construct, and their projects are rarely isolated or one of a kind. Those born on this day are also collectors – whether of lists, facts, numbers, birthdays or objects, and can often be found categorizing, naming and typing. They can even collect people, in the sense of friends and acquaintances.
The meditation for the Day of the Serial Epic is…
Alone among the animals, man loves noise
The weakness of the day are tendencies to be…
obsessive
compulsive
unrealistic
I often cover these so that I don’t obsess on them.
The strengths of the day are tendencies to be…
persistent
energetic
productive
I try to focus on these and look for example in the day when I can describe myself or my life circumstances in these terms.
The advise for the day is…
Work on emotional self-control. Learn the value of maintenance and don’t overlook the details. Lessen demands on your partner; examine your own faults. Don’t take on woo much and finish what you start.
Like Brahma, every morning I open my eyes is the birthing of a day with new potential, a new chance at life. I see each birthday as a manifestation of time in the Kosmic consciousness. Everyday is more content for the story of our lives. As I’ve developed I learned there are many different ways ones can tell a story and owning one’s story is to a certain extent the ownership of one’s own life in the egoic sense. But there is so much more than the egoic making of sense of our life and our story. No matter how rational (or relational) I try to be, in the end, most of what happens in a day is just random data, grist for the dream mill to sort through as my head hits the pillow. I have trouble saying whether the events of a day are good or bad. Getting me to were I want to go or not. I try to use this book as a bit of guidance to hedge my trial and error wandering through life. I seek out wisdom in books as I collect wisdom from what the events of life have to offer me on a daily basis. Each birthday page gives character to the space of time that I hold in my awareness from my awakening each morning to my laying down each night.
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